Ahh! Real Monsters
Wednesday, Jan. 19, 2005 at 5:21 PM
Do you ever have those days where you feel like you�re going to explode? Like the next person who walks by me is going to regret it. Don�t talk to me, don�t touch me and don�t look at me. Stay away. Really, it�s for your own well-being. If you like your head, and want to keep it, don�t come near me.
Last night, Greg and I went to bad mad at each other. Sometimes, he can be so� eh� It�s hard to put a word to it. Mean, no, well, kind of, but more dickheaded, but no, that doesn�t give full credit to how he gets. This morning, the word that worked was asshole.
Here�s where it all started. I am having surgery this Friday, 2 days from now, on my foot. My left one this time, 8 weeks from now, my right. It�s a simple surgery to correct my funky, growing-in-the-wrong-direction big toe. Sounds gross, it is. Now, I�m freaking out about this surgery. It�s only an hour long and I�m out that day. So it�s nothing major, like triple bypass heart surgery or anything. But I�m still getting knocked out. Granted, I really don�t want to HEAR or FEEL them drilling a chunk of my foot away and screwing some pins in. But I don�t want to lie there while they all wait for me to enter what they are calling �twilight sleep�. Twilight sleep my ass, I better be TKO�d. I�m nervous about being put on the spot to fall asleep and then I�m afraid I�m going to wake up and panic. I already told Greg how I feel and he�s been great and supportive, but I think if I bring it up again, it�ll have gotten old. So I keep my mouth shut in my private anguish. I�m telling you, I�m a big baby when it comes to going under. I�m sure I could blame it somehow on my parents, but right now I can�t think of why. I�ll get back to you on that.
Here�s where Greg comes in. He�s taking the day off to take care of me. He�s bringing me to and from the surgery and he�ll be there while they�re slicing and dicing. He�s trying to do something nice for me, which according to him, I�m making very hard to do.
Anywho. So his friends all go up to a cabin about 2 hours north of Kenosha, in Pewaukee. (Yes, all Wisconsin names are weird like that� it gets worse�) The cabin weekend, which is guys and gals, happens to be this weekend. For those of you paying attention, I�ll be in a moon boot and drugged up this weekend.
So the purpose of this cabin retreat is to relax, play some cards, drink, get drunk and have a good time. Now, I�ve never had foot surgery before, but this is what I am told to expect:
I cannot: drink, drive, walk much, lift anything or be active for the first 3 days after my surgery. I pretty much am ordered to lie on the couch and be a big bum. I can handle that.
Add a cabin full of boisterous, disorderly and having-a-great-time guys, and where do I fit? If you figure it out, let me know, please. So I brought this up to Greg, so be it at 12:00 when he was trying to sleep, but I was upset� I don�t want to be a bump-on-the-couch while they are having fun.
And the whole plan was that he was going to wait on me hand and foot and I was going to be happy being miserable with him taking care of me. I know that once we get up to the cabin, and a few Point Special�s later, there goes Missie as #1 and here comes Missie #4826303. Or maybe number 2. But damn it all to hell, I was looking forward to a weekend where I get to be his top priority all weekend. No Kilties, no class, no work, no nothing. Just me. My own personal weekend of Greg. A chance like this only comes around once in a blue moon.
So we got into a fight about it last night and he said, �Fine, we aren�t going�. Well fuck that, I want to go! I just don�t want to be cast aside.
So then we kissed and made up and it�s all right now. I�m not sure if we�re going or not, I�ll know tonight.
So I get to work and it�s drama, drama and more drama. I work 40 hours a week- Monday thru Friday, 9-5. Those are my hours. So when I sign up for 4 classes, after work hours, it�s my prerogative. You�d think at least.
My boss is having a fit about me having to miss an industry meeting because it�s the first night of one of my classes. I already dropped 2 classes last semester; I�m not doing it again. And plus, that class only meets 4 times. So missing one class is a big deal. So I�m trying to see what I can work out. But I�m not compromising this. I want to finish school and I�m not going to do it by dropping classes.
So that didn�t make my day any better. But now that I�ve written all this out, I�m feeling strangely well again. Ooh! And Scott�s back with lunch� Culver�s- Bacon cheeseburger with catsup and pickles and fries. Mmm mmm good.