Typed this at work:

Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2004 at 8:44 PM


My favorite sounds.

I think my favorite sounds are these:

The sound of thunder, the first time you hear it, right when the storm is coming in. Your heart skips a beat and you hold your breath for a mere second. I am an avid storm lover. I actually took a program last year with Scott�s mom on hurricane watching. It was funny at the time, but it heightened my appreciation for thunderstorms.

I love the sound of Rob�s voice. Two simple words �hi dear� melt my core and everything around me vanishes. The unyielding shell I harbor to ward off outsiders and unwanteds cracks and crumbles to my proverbial feet. Over the years, this phrase has meant numerous things. It has said hello, it has intended love and admiration. It has always reassured me that he is alive and out of harm's way. It�s torn my heart to hear those words, but it�s always assuring, comforting in it�s own way.

I love the sound of laughter. It has taken years to love the sound of my own laugh; it�s loud, boisterous, outlandish effervesce. It�s explosive, I say. I love to hear my friends laughing in the background while I make dinner at my house. Or when Kate and I are driving and she�s laughing at my eccentricity.

When I walk into the house after work, the first two noises I hear are my cat, which bellows and mews like the world is ending. And the phrase �Who cometh thou?� which means nothing, really, but is my grandma wondering who�s come in the house.

An update of this weekend:

Friday night I went to Milwaukee and spent time with Rebecca for a bit. Then I played Trivial Pursuit with Jess, John and his roommates. That was a good time, besides that I was sick and John got drunk. After that I stopped by Durango�s to see Tom and Mark for a bit, as Tom called me on my way home and asked me to stop by. I was there for a little bit and then went home. Saturday afternoon I went to see Aaron and Sharon and the baby. I spent 6 hours there and had a really good time. That night, I was supposed to see Tom but ended up just going to bed. Sunday I went on a Shopko run with Kate and then went out for lunch with Josh. That night, I hung out with Tom until late. Last night, we were supposed to go to Mayfair and see a movie, but somehow got REALLY lost and ended up WAY the fuck in the county. So I drove for 2 hours and it was NOT what I had in mind. But we listed to some fun music. Everyone was a little, off� So it wasn�t that fun driving way the hell out near Delavan.

I had an attack of fear Sunday night and brought it up to Tom, which didn�t go as well as I thought. It�s his birthday today and I�m not sure what�s going on tonight. But it was the first time I thought that I might actually get hurt. And I got scared and what does Missie do when she�s scared? She pulls back. And I was pretty good about not being too bad, but now I wish I had just kept my mouth shut.

This dating thing is becoming too much to handle sometimes. And I know what I have to do, but don�t know how to do it. And I really don�t want to do one of the things I know I must.

I asked Rich to hang out tonight, we�ll see if he calls. Hope so, but I�m not holding my breath.

Well, work is almost done. I have to go. Peace guys- Love, Miss



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