Old shit I found funny because it's still the same shit, different people:

Tuesday, Feb. 03, 2004 at 12:52 PM


A blast from the past:

Discohousegrrlie: not to be nosy missie or anything, but are things cool?

WankerRawker: Dude, Val. I'm cool.

Discohousegrrlie: okies... just lookin out

WankerRawker: I don't agree with Tim or with some of the things you think, but it's all good.

Discohousegrrlie: okies... but who really does?

WankerRawker: Yeah, we all aren't going to think the same way- but as much as I can repect someone else, I deserve that respect in return.

Discohousegrrlie: nto necessarily... just because it is gievn does not mean it is deserved...

WankerRawker: Understandable

WankerRawker: I have WAY too much other shit going on to worry about this- I mean, I'm all cool with you- and Tim and I will always have issues cause there is shit that goes WAY WAY WAY the hell beyond the guestbook.

Discohousegrrlie: let me ask you this, and think about it before you respond:

WankerRawker: ok

Discohousegrrlie: what positive things do you get out of having a relationshipo with timmy?

WankerRawker: I'm not sure. I have spent so much time thinking about that and I come up confused.

WankerRawker: I love him- always will, but I don't want to be with him. And I think that if he wasn't in my life right now, that I would have walked away because it's so fucking hard to stay.

Discohousegrrlie: so if you have no readily available straight answer, assume there is nothing there...

Discohousegrrlie: so then why do you stay in his life?

WankerRawker: I don't.

Discohousegrrlie: all you two do is butt heads and disagree and one of you two winds up affected somehow by it each and every time...

WankerRawker: I'm with Matt- and Matt is part of Tim's life.

WankerRawker: Yeah, cause we care that fucking much.

Discohousegrrlie: do you honestly believe that you are in timmy's life just because you are dating mett?

Discohousegrrlie: *matt

Discohousegrrlie: and do you really think that timmy cares a smuch as you think?

WankerRawker: I'm not sure. 80% yes because that is why I see Tim.

WankerRawker: Yes

WankerRawker: I do.

Discohousegrrlie: why?

WankerRawker: I think he care smore.

WankerRawker: cares more

Discohousegrrlie: why? what has happened in the last five monmths that makes you think that?

WankerRawker: Because I can detatch myself from it all and be uncaring and unfeeling and put him on a different level to where he's nothing to me. But I can't do it for long.

WankerRawker: A: He almost broke up with Rachel to be with me.

WankerRawker: B: He cares so much that Matt and I are together.

WankerRawker: C: He tells me, and I believe him.

Discohousegrrlie: have you ever stopped to think that maybe you have convinced yourself that there is more top you and timmy than there really is?

Discohousegrrlie: this is not meant to be arguementativ

WankerRawker: Maybe there is. But I guess that is between me and Tim.

Discohousegrrlie: i've done it before, and just lookin out, making sure you don't waste your time or anything like i did

WankerRawker: I'm defensive right now because I am emotional.

WankerRawker: And I care about him so much that I hate it.

WankerRawker: If I could stop caring right now, I would.

WankerRawker: Maybe.

WankerRawker: But I'd stop 99% of it.

Discohousegrrlie: this is my take on things... take it as that and nothing else.

WankerRawker: To help make it not hurt.

Discohousegrrlie: you and tim do nothing but fight and ague and all that other shit.

Discohousegrrlie: you two have no business being in each other's lives in anyway becuase both of you are too immature to handle it.

WankerRawker: He is still in love with me to where he wants to be with me.

Discohousegrrlie: do you really believe that?

WankerRawker: And I can't take that shit all the time. Getting it stuffed in my face

Discohousegrrlie: that is so funny.

WankerRawker: He tells me

Discohousegrrlie: you, my friend, are one of a dying breed.

WankerRawker: But oh well, I am so worn out right now.

Discohousegrrlie: one of the ones to always belive

Discohousegrrlie: from what i gather, you are a thorn in timmy's side... you guys have no idea how to have a friendship, let alone relationship, so you just bug and annoy each other till one of you gets pissed...

WankerRawker: I'm not going to get into what is right or wrong by matter of opinion or defend myself and my MO.

WankerRawker: You are entitled to your own opinion

WankerRawker: I respect that

Discohousegrrlie: and i don't mean to choose sides, but timmy's my guy, and you hurt him a lot... just by being a silly girl who knows nothing.

WankerRawker: But Tim's business and mine is just that.

WankerRawker: SO I am going to leave it at that. Because it's 2:30 in the AM and I'm a tired silly girl who knows nothing...

WankerRawker: lol

Discohousegrrlie: but do you not see that it winds up everyone else's business too because one of you invariably tells everyone everything, whether they want to listen or not?

WankerRawker: I do know that I am tired.

WankerRawker: Does that count?

Discohousegrrlie: :-P

WankerRawker: *as knowing something

WankerRawker: Girl, I'm out. You go to bed or whatever- I have a pretty strong grasp on who and what I am, so if you want me to be someone that I am not, please don't hold youe breath and one day maybe you will take me for who I am. Peace out- and have a good night.

WankerRawker: :-)

Discohousegrrlie: later on yo

tbagssack: hey...are you doing ok?

WankerRawker: What do you mean?

tbagssack: val said that she say you and matt fighting...and im just trying to be nice

WankerRawker: I wasn't sure what you meant... Thanks for asking.

WankerRawker: We got into a fight sorta

tbagssack: do you fight with everyone you date?

WankerRawker: Cause we were going to get together and have Matt/Missie time on the days that I have off and now he's busy all day tommorrow and that pissed me off.

WankerRawker: I'm not answering that Tim.

WankerRawker: Goodnight

tbagssack: hey...it wasnt suppose to be mean...im just saying that it should be something you work on...because we used to fight all the time

WankerRawker: We aren't fighting hard core, and it's all fine now, but he upset me.

tbagssack: and i usually dont fight with my other girlfriends

WankerRawker: And thanks for the advice. I know my faults, I don't need to be reminded of them constantly.

tbagssack: ok...now you are sounding like steve...i thought that i can try to help you once in a while...rachel is learning about trick you can do to make productive changes in your life

WankerRawker: Yeah, like figure shit out and not have people telling me that I am constantly wrong.

tbagssack: whats that suppose to mean?

WankerRawker: I have SO much shit going on right now and I'm confused about all of it-

WankerRawker: AND I'm getting sick of people who don't know me saying shit about me that they hear from someone who heard it from someone else.

WankerRawker: It's all bullshit.

tbagssack: do you mean like anna?

WankerRawker: I have not the time nor the energy to care anymore.

tbagssack: i tried to tell you that if you wanted to be friends with someone in the group...you have to be friends with everyone...the people in the group have so much love for eachother and you came and started some trouble and gave people a lot to talk about...im not trying to be mean but you did bring a lot of it on yourself

WankerRawker: I don't have to be friends with Anna to be friends with Jill or Tiff or Nikki or Sean or Steve or Veronica

WankerRawker: Or Matt

tbagssack: i know that it is hard to understand (it was for me too) but yes you do

WankerRawker: No, I don't.

WankerRawker: Friendship is something that happens between me and someone else, not me and the group as a whole.

WankerRawker: Here:

WankerRawker: WankerRawker: Do I have to be friends with EVERYONE in the group to be friends with anyone?

JngleRot14: lol, nope

WankerRawker: Meaning, do I HAVE to be friends with Anna to be your friend?

JngleRot14: nope

WankerRawker: Sean is my friend

WankerRawker: And I'm not friends with Anna

WankerRawker: He thinks for himself

WankerRawker: It would make things easier, but it doesn't mean it HAS to be that way

WankerRawker: Why are you so threatened by me becoming friends with people?

tbagssack: thats because he started the group...i have done a lot of research on them...i have read all of the postings on teh website...and not would it only make things easier...it is a night and day difference

WankerRawker: You're such an expert Tim

tbagssack: dont ask me thing like that if you dont want to hear the answer

WankerRawker: because you know that I am honest with them and they like me for who I am?

tbagssack: no...just a fan...and me and gabe used the group as a research project

WankerRawker: That's wonderful

tbagssack: well expert may be a good word...i know more about most of the people in the group then they know about eachother

WankerRawker: what a friend you are

WankerRawker: What the hell are you talking about"

WankerRawker: ?

WankerRawker: You've lost it dude.

tbagssack: i know you are trying to be mean...but i am a good friend...and i usually get along with everyone...

WankerRawker: No, you lost it. I don't know how the fuck your mind works, but it's twisted.

WankerRawker: You use people Tim, and that's not cool.

WankerRawker: You're a genuinly good person, I beleive, but I don't know who the hell you are anymore.

WankerRawker: I hope you aren't using these people for your own entertainment

WankerRawker: Cause they are awesome people. And good friends to those they let in.

tbagssack: where do you get off saying that i am using them

WankerRawker: For your "study"

tbagssack: if your talking about the cigs and weed...i have given tiff more than she ever will give to me

WankerRawker: What are YOU talking about?

tbagssack: what are you talking about what study?

WankerRawker: I'm lost

WankerRawker: The little study you did on them...

WankerRawker: Let me recap-

WankerRawker: tbagssack: no...just a fan...and me and gabe used the group as a research project

tbagssack: no...we researched them because gabe was joining the band abnd we wanted to know who they were

WankerRawker: And you just know so fucking much about them?

WankerRawker: What is Matt's favorite song? Or his worst memory of high school? What's his favorite shirt? Or how does he feel about abortion or marriage or kids or soccer?

WankerRawker: What about Sean? How old was he when he wrote his first song?

WankerRawker: Does he write poetry? Does he like to read?

tbagssack: sorry...im not matts psycho girlfriend

WankerRawker: Who's Tiff's fav author?

WankerRawker: Does she even read?

WankerRawker: You know things about people from READING about them?

WankerRawker: How about taking the time to actually get to know the real human in person them?

WankerRawker: They really will amaze you.

tbagssack signed off at 1:56:33 AM.

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